What Happened to Privacy?

“All human beings have three lives; a public life, a private life, and a secret life.” 

~ Gabriel Garcia Marquez

But do we anymore? 

Now day’s social media has taken over our lives, and our privacy. I’m talking Twitter, Facebook, Four Square, Snapchat, Pinterest, Tumblr, Flickr… the list goes on and on. I seem to be less concerned with the privacy settings on these platforms, and more concerned with the people using them…excessively.

I’ll be the first to say, I’m guilty of sharing personal, private, and unnecessary information on social media. We’ve all done it, and some may continue to do it. I post on my Instagram 4-5 days per week for sponsorship reasons. But at what point is enough, enough?

Do people actually gain value from the number of followers they have? Do they achieve more self-assurance from the number of likes on any given photo? Do they get joy out of sharing their every move of every day on their ‘Story’? Do they feel it’s necessary to ‘check-in’ when they arrive at their destination?

I’m not talking about a casual post, a rant, or even an opinion. I’m not referring to a few snapchats while you’re at a party, or even a ‘check-in’ that you arrived in Hawaii.

I’m talking about the people that snapchat their daily routine or update on what they are doing every hour. People who ‘check-in’ that they made it to Hawaii, now they are getting shaved ice, now they are at Wal-Mart, now at such-and-such a beach. I’m talking about a pictures posted as things are happening, all the time, always. I’d like to call this “Serial Sharing.”

People are so hungry and needy for the approval of others and to create a following, I don’t understand it. I constantly see peoples profile’s on Instagram go from following 400 people to following 1200 people; almost overnight. They do this to gain followers and then immediately turn around and unfollow those who have not followed them back. I see this happen with my own following. There are even apps that allow you to buy followers. It’s sad that many people have turned to these forms of media to create a sense of self-worth and attention.

What happened to our privacy or having portions of your life be private? Doing things without telling everyone what we are doing in this very moment. Enjoying our time out with friends without being glued to our phone so everyone else knows ‘how cool we are.’ Setting aside our ‘fake’ life, for our real one. Doing some volunteer work for someone in need. Or maybe just help a loved one who is going through a rough patch. Doing a nice deed without marketing it to the world. What happened?

Again, I’ll admit social media has a lot of positives when used in the correct way. This has made networking much easier, keeping in contact with those in our lives, and even job opportunities. Overuse and ‘Serial Sharing’ is where I try to draw the line. Don’t you want a bit of privacy in your life? A bit of surprise? People wondering what you’re doing, instead of knowing every waking hour?

I doubt many will read this post, and others may not care. The intent of this was not to offend or discount the people who do this, as it is not about anyone in particular (I’m waiting for people to start blocking me as I hit submit). You all know who I’m referring to, the people who are constantly blowing up your feed. But if I may, I’d like to leave you with one suggestion.

Next time you post, post for a reason. Post because you are passionate. Follow because you have a genuine interest in that person: whether it is their photos, their life, or their passions. Post to inspire. Check-in because you’re at your vacation destination and then let your phone take a comfortable ride in your pocket. Post if you have to (sponsors, money, etc.). Most of all, post because you feel it will bring someone some joy or happiness.

I’m not advocating to boycott social media like many of these other articles around. More, I’m trying to understand the reason behind what is happening in today’s world. Why are people so drawn to all these insignificant platforms that they need to share every detail of their life? Why not keep some things close to you, home, and those you love?

Again, I’ve been guilty. But…

When you’re me, you think about it. 

By 26...

Life is a 2 lane road that travels 1 direction.

The direction is North, South, East, and West. 

I know it's confusing... it's life.

~Levi Arnone

It has been over a year since my last blog post. I’m sorry to those of you who follow and expect more from me, I would like to be more consistent. However, I do not want to fill my blog with meaningless posts just to meet a monthly quota.

For those of you who have been following, or have read my posts before, you will know each post has a certain ‘feel’. I try to convey that feel through my writing in a passionate way. Hence why I don’t post often. I have to feel passionate about what I’m writing, or it is difficult to get my point across.

Well, the time has come. I have had this topic on my mind for a few weeks and I cannot seem to escape it. This only means one thing… write it down.

I think many of us, if not all, have a ‘plan’ as we mature and get older. For many this ‘plan’ can come as early as middle school, some in high school, many in college, and others after that. Hell, some of us still don’t have a ‘plan’.

When I refer to a ‘plan’ I’m specifically talking about how we envision our future life. In a way, we are setting a loose goal and vision of exactly how we want things to go. It’s basically a rough draft of our life as we progress down this path called LIFE. Some of us may write our ‘plan’ on paper, others talk about it, and for some it’s all in our head.

This is a small outline of my ‘plan’, or so I thought. Mine started to build around age 18 when I was about to head off to college. It went something like this: Finish my Bachelor’s degree, land a great job, and start my MBA. Be married by 26, have a couple of children. Build a house, get some nice vehicles, a few fun toys. Have controllable debt (house payment and maybe car payment). Live happily.

Fast-forward.

Let me tell you, my ‘plan’ did not go according to plan. Some things were able to fall into place and my ‘plan’ was now becoming my reality. Today, here I am, 26 years old. I have finished my Bachelor’s degree but never started my MBA. I’m nearing 4 years working for a great company. The rest… well, it never really happened.

The ‘plan’ that I had envisioned years ago never really happened. In fact, I’m glad it didn’t happen. I think society and the people around us shape our reality and tell us the way things “should” be. It’s okay not to follow in those footsteps, though. You don’t have to have a ‘plan’, you can make it up as you go. Blaze your own path and do the things you want to do, not the things you think you have to do. The things you wanted at age 16 you may not want at age 20. The things you want at age 20 may not be what you want at age 25.

Today I’m still deciding; do I want to be married? Do I want to have kids? Do I want to go back to school and get an MBA? Do I want to build a house, or live in a big ass van and travel around? Will I ever switch jobs? These are all things I’ve questioned recently that I never thought I would have at age 18.  

I never pictured my plan being something like this: Get my Bachelor’s degree, get a good job. Start skydiving and jumping off other high objects. Spend large amounts of money on parachutes and wingsuits. Selling my truck and motorcycle to downsize; put Jeep up for sale. Start working in the skydiving industry to support my hobby. Be in a series of relationships, some good some bad. Start going bald (definitely not planned). Figure out what I’m doing with my life…

There is nothing good or bad about this. There isn’t a right or wrong way to do things. It is simply an observation I’ve made when I look back and say, “By 26 I…” and realized so much of it never happened.

Now I’m working on my next ‘plan’… “If I live to see 30…” ;)

When you’re me, you think about it.

Life in Solitude

Whoever is too great must lonely live.
Adored he walks in mighty solitude;
Vain is his labour to create his kind,
His only comrade is the Strength within.
The great are strongest when they stand alone.

-Savitri

   As my first blog post, I wanted to hit on something that everyone encounters… romantic relationships.  A subject that I have put a lot of thought into over the years, yet never seem to figure out. Not only why we want relationships, but also why we long for them and they become a need instead of a want.

               

  Having only one serious relationship under my belt, I am the furthest from an expert on relationships; and on the same note, the opposite sex.  Although, romantic relationships are not my focus, or the opposite sex my concern.  It is what goes on within us that makes me wonder why we force ourselves into something we are so unsure of.

             

   Face the facts, we are social mammals; we all have the need to belong, and if we don’t interact with others it can cause severe psychological effects. We all have general interpersonal relationships, but they cannot fulfill the needs that we so desperately search for in a romantic partner. So what is it that makes us search for someone who we fit so perfectly with, tell everything to, spend every minute with, and share out hopes and dreams?
  
     Are we tired of being lonely, or are we scared to be alone? Although they seem to be the same, I feel that they are two very different aspects within us. Are we truly ‘lonely,’ or do we just want to be with somebody as we are taught from birth? Are we alone, or have we just not found the one we have been searching?  After all, who is to say what being lonely really is…or feels like? Could it possibly be a universal feeling?


    To further the thought above, what is it about loneliness that we dislike so much? Do we want to be needed? Need to be wanted? Need to be needed? Want to be wanted? Loneliness is so complex; by experiencing it in the wrong way, happiness seems so far off, until we find the one with which we belong. However, if we experience loneliness in a positive way, loneliness = solitude, happiness is only a stone’s throw away.


     In addition, who is to say being lonely OR being alone is a bad thing? Those who enjoy themselves when they are alone (not in a relationship) are solitude in that way. They thrive in their own world and become the greatest they can be. Therefore, we must find power in ourselves and love our lonely life in order to be happy with another.

    Either way, in my overly extensive years of being single, I’ve come to realize many things by analyzing others romantic relationships; or quite possibly, the need to be in a romantic relationship. As a more recent Facebook post, I stated, “I find it interesting how many people base their LIFE around LOVE.” When in reality we should be doing just the opposite and base our LOVE around LIFE. We must lose ourselves in enjoying what is given to us, before we set forth to search for what is not.

Stand tall when you're alone, for that's when you're strongest. 

When you’re me, you think about it.