Recognize Choice

I was up before the sun today. I placed some coffee grounds at the base of the french press and put the kettle on the stove. I put on a pair of pants, shirt, jacket and shoes; took a step outside. 

The darkness of the night was still upon me as I waited for the sun to awake. There was a faint breeze I could feel on my uncovered skin. The leaves of the surrounding trees were rustling in the background. The tall grass field moving like waves of the ocean, a light dew covering the stems. The cold from the dirt beneath me rises into the soles of my shoes; I'm aware of its presence but I choose to ignore. 

I take a deep breath in through my nose and exhale through my mouth. The morning air fills my lungs and brings excitement for the day ahead. The breeze across the back of my neck causes my hair to stand on end. In the background I hear the kettle whistle; it's time for coffee. 

I return indoors to prepare the coffee. I walk to the cooler grabbing a small yogurt and return to the counter to grab a piece of fruit. I pour my travel mug full of the dark roast; steamy aroma filling the air as I replace the lid. 

I grab my water bottle, helmet, pads, and BASE rig, as I walk through the door. I toss them into the trunk and start my car. 

There is a warm orange glow behind the mountain; it's a beautiful silhouette. The sun is coming and the day is about to begin. 

As I drive down the dirt road gravel flips up hitting the rocker panel below. Dust clouds fill the air behind. Rays of light shine through just reaching the rear view mirror. I feel warm. 

The pull out is empty. I place the car in park. I open the door, the morning cold is inhaled into the cabin. I step out, gather my gear, tighten my shoes, and proceed to walk to the trailhead. 

As I hike I see my breath in the air. My pack against my back gathering moisture from the warmth of my body. Two birds fly in a circle overhead, the presence is peaceful. 

I approach the base of the steep terrain and dig my shoe into the sand, the footing doesn't feel secure, but I proceed. The rock face isn't far from here. 

As I near the exit point and drop my gear, I step to the edge of the cliff and overlook the canyon below. 

I put my rig on securing my leg straps and chest strap. Double checking to ensure everything is in working order. I place my helmet on my head clipping the buckle beneath my chin; tightening the strap firmly against my skin.  

Again I walk to the cliff, toes nearing the edge. I close my eyes and inhale. Focus consumes me, the only thing that matters is this moment. I'm completely aware of my breathing, the sound of nature around me, and the presence of all things, now. 

I lunge forward propelling myself off the cliff in a single, controlled, and stable movement. There is a brief moment where there is complete freedom. I am no longer grounded to the earth or a victim of gravity. I am not falling, or flying, but I am free.   In this moment there is no sound, no temperature, no smell, and no control. I am weightless.  

As I accelerate toward the earth, the wind noise heightens and the peacefulness of the world is no longer present. I reach back, grasping my pilot chute firmly and throw it sideways in one powerful motion. I feel the light tug as it inflates and proceeds to pull the canopy from its container. As it reaches line stretch I abruptly sit up vertically in my harness. A sense of comfort overcomes me as my adrenaline slows. 

I descend into the valley, canyon walls towering overhead and casting shadows on the ground below. 

I navigate to an open area where my feet touch down gently. A calming feeling is present as I start to gather my gear. 

I look up to the exit point and take in the beauty around me. The contrast of the sun behind the canyon walls and the deep shadows on the ground below. A slight breeze makes the trees sway and brings a chilling sensation. 

I am no longer free. I am no longer falling, or flying. I am now a victim of the gravity that binds us to the rock we call home. This universe is heavy, breathing is difficult. 

I proceed to walk back to the car, happiness is in my heart. Everything that I did today was a choice. 

I choose, peace. I choose the silence of dead air. I choose the sound of nature. I choose to recognize the detail of the day. I choose small things. I choose this moment. I choose to live. I choose freedom. 

What Happened to Privacy?

“All human beings have three lives; a public life, a private life, and a secret life.” 

~ Gabriel Garcia Marquez

But do we anymore? 

Now day’s social media has taken over our lives, and our privacy. I’m talking Twitter, Facebook, Four Square, Snapchat, Pinterest, Tumblr, Flickr… the list goes on and on. I seem to be less concerned with the privacy settings on these platforms, and more concerned with the people using them…excessively.

I’ll be the first to say, I’m guilty of sharing personal, private, and unnecessary information on social media. We’ve all done it, and some may continue to do it. I post on my Instagram 4-5 days per week for sponsorship reasons. But at what point is enough, enough?

Do people actually gain value from the number of followers they have? Do they achieve more self-assurance from the number of likes on any given photo? Do they get joy out of sharing their every move of every day on their ‘Story’? Do they feel it’s necessary to ‘check-in’ when they arrive at their destination?

I’m not talking about a casual post, a rant, or even an opinion. I’m not referring to a few snapchats while you’re at a party, or even a ‘check-in’ that you arrived in Hawaii.

I’m talking about the people that snapchat their daily routine or update on what they are doing every hour. People who ‘check-in’ that they made it to Hawaii, now they are getting shaved ice, now they are at Wal-Mart, now at such-and-such a beach. I’m talking about a pictures posted as things are happening, all the time, always. I’d like to call this “Serial Sharing.”

People are so hungry and needy for the approval of others and to create a following, I don’t understand it. I constantly see peoples profile’s on Instagram go from following 400 people to following 1200 people; almost overnight. They do this to gain followers and then immediately turn around and unfollow those who have not followed them back. I see this happen with my own following. There are even apps that allow you to buy followers. It’s sad that many people have turned to these forms of media to create a sense of self-worth and attention.

What happened to our privacy or having portions of your life be private? Doing things without telling everyone what we are doing in this very moment. Enjoying our time out with friends without being glued to our phone so everyone else knows ‘how cool we are.’ Setting aside our ‘fake’ life, for our real one. Doing some volunteer work for someone in need. Or maybe just help a loved one who is going through a rough patch. Doing a nice deed without marketing it to the world. What happened?

Again, I’ll admit social media has a lot of positives when used in the correct way. This has made networking much easier, keeping in contact with those in our lives, and even job opportunities. Overuse and ‘Serial Sharing’ is where I try to draw the line. Don’t you want a bit of privacy in your life? A bit of surprise? People wondering what you’re doing, instead of knowing every waking hour?

I doubt many will read this post, and others may not care. The intent of this was not to offend or discount the people who do this, as it is not about anyone in particular (I’m waiting for people to start blocking me as I hit submit). You all know who I’m referring to, the people who are constantly blowing up your feed. But if I may, I’d like to leave you with one suggestion.

Next time you post, post for a reason. Post because you are passionate. Follow because you have a genuine interest in that person: whether it is their photos, their life, or their passions. Post to inspire. Check-in because you’re at your vacation destination and then let your phone take a comfortable ride in your pocket. Post if you have to (sponsors, money, etc.). Most of all, post because you feel it will bring someone some joy or happiness.

I’m not advocating to boycott social media like many of these other articles around. More, I’m trying to understand the reason behind what is happening in today’s world. Why are people so drawn to all these insignificant platforms that they need to share every detail of their life? Why not keep some things close to you, home, and those you love?

Again, I’ve been guilty. But…

When you’re me, you think about it. 

Life in Solitude

Whoever is too great must lonely live.
Adored he walks in mighty solitude;
Vain is his labour to create his kind,
His only comrade is the Strength within.
The great are strongest when they stand alone.

-Savitri

   As my first blog post, I wanted to hit on something that everyone encounters… romantic relationships.  A subject that I have put a lot of thought into over the years, yet never seem to figure out. Not only why we want relationships, but also why we long for them and they become a need instead of a want.

               

  Having only one serious relationship under my belt, I am the furthest from an expert on relationships; and on the same note, the opposite sex.  Although, romantic relationships are not my focus, or the opposite sex my concern.  It is what goes on within us that makes me wonder why we force ourselves into something we are so unsure of.

             

   Face the facts, we are social mammals; we all have the need to belong, and if we don’t interact with others it can cause severe psychological effects. We all have general interpersonal relationships, but they cannot fulfill the needs that we so desperately search for in a romantic partner. So what is it that makes us search for someone who we fit so perfectly with, tell everything to, spend every minute with, and share out hopes and dreams?
  
     Are we tired of being lonely, or are we scared to be alone? Although they seem to be the same, I feel that they are two very different aspects within us. Are we truly ‘lonely,’ or do we just want to be with somebody as we are taught from birth? Are we alone, or have we just not found the one we have been searching?  After all, who is to say what being lonely really is…or feels like? Could it possibly be a universal feeling?


    To further the thought above, what is it about loneliness that we dislike so much? Do we want to be needed? Need to be wanted? Need to be needed? Want to be wanted? Loneliness is so complex; by experiencing it in the wrong way, happiness seems so far off, until we find the one with which we belong. However, if we experience loneliness in a positive way, loneliness = solitude, happiness is only a stone’s throw away.


     In addition, who is to say being lonely OR being alone is a bad thing? Those who enjoy themselves when they are alone (not in a relationship) are solitude in that way. They thrive in their own world and become the greatest they can be. Therefore, we must find power in ourselves and love our lonely life in order to be happy with another.

    Either way, in my overly extensive years of being single, I’ve come to realize many things by analyzing others romantic relationships; or quite possibly, the need to be in a romantic relationship. As a more recent Facebook post, I stated, “I find it interesting how many people base their LIFE around LOVE.” When in reality we should be doing just the opposite and base our LOVE around LIFE. We must lose ourselves in enjoying what is given to us, before we set forth to search for what is not.

Stand tall when you're alone, for that's when you're strongest. 

When you’re me, you think about it.